Divorce: When Private Matters Become Public Knowledge

Privacy in our personal life is important to everyone. Unfortunetly, a divorce is a public proceeding filed in court.  For many people the pain that comes with the dissolution of a marriage is made worse when details of the relationship become public knowledge.  While you can’t prevent every piece of information  in a divorce from leaking into the rumor mill, to a certain extent, the couple divorcing has a great deal of control over the situation.

The information you tell your attorney is protected by the attorney client privilege and is private, unless you authorize its release. Your lawyer cannot be compelled to disclose or testify to protected communications.

To assist you some of the information will have to be released to advance your legal case. For example, your address, birth day or allegations of abuse or other bad behavior, must be in the pleadings filed with the court.

The attorney client privilege can be waived if you bring someone else into the conversation or disclose the communications to other people.  So, while you may want the emotional support of your mom or best friend when talking to you attorney, anything you want to remain privileged needs to be said in a private conversation with your counsel.

A very simple but difficult way to keep your private matters private is not to talk about them.  People going through a difficult time frequently seek comfort and support from others.  Just remember, the people you tell may very well tell others.

Avoid Social media

Keep your private business off Facebook, Instagram and other social media.  Not only does this fuel the rumor mill, it can be used as evidence in your case. Social media should be avoided during a divorce. To learn more check out our post on how social media is used in divorce and custody cases.

Attorneys use social media to do background checks on their client’s spouses.  Pictures of you partying with friends or people of the opposite sex could cast you in a poor light.  Just stay off until your case is resolved.

The same applies to texting and Snapchat.  Pictures texted or messaged to a friend can end up on some else’s Instagram or Snapchat story. In some cases, the other side may subpoena your digital records and obtain access from the source such as your phone company or internet service provider.

Don’t Drag the Kids into Marital Problems

Don’t discuss you case or marital problems in front of your children.  Once you are divorced, your parenting plan will likely include language to this affect, so you might as well get in the habit.  Children, like adults, look for support and understanding in difficult times.  They will tell their friends.  Talking to your children about your marital problems with their parent is not good for them, your case, or keeping your private business out of the public arena.

Change the Location of The Legal Proceedings

Another possible way to keep your divorce quiet is to file in another county. This will take consent of both parties.  If you live in a small town or county, your appearance in the courthouse can start people talking.  Your attorney is required to keep your confidential information, but once you air your dirty laundry in court, anyone present and listening can repeat share that information. If you live in Macon, Monroe, Chariton, Howard, or Randolph County Missouri both parties may benefit from a change of venue.

Take the High Road

There is no way to keep a dissolution of marriage completely private; however, by observing a modicum of decorum you can hopefully keep your private family matters out of the local rumor mill and off social media.  If you are considering filing for dissolution, please contact Gump & Faiella for a consultation with one of our family law attorneys.  Our firm handles family law cases in the following counties in Missouri, Randolph, Chariton, Macon, Monroe and Boone. You can contact us at 660-263-3100 or 573-397-4710 or email us at info@tgflaw.com.

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