Teens are different than small children.  For those who are raising or have raised teenagers, I realize that’s an understatement.  In a custody dispute because of a separation, divorce or modification, older children present particular issues.

In Missouri, the overriding standard in custody in “the best interests of the child.”  Pursuant to 452.375.2 RSMo., the judge will have to consider all the relevant factors “ including, but not limited to, the following:

While the wishes of the child as to custody is a factor, even if the child is older, their wishes do not determine custody.  The judge will consider all the evidence regarding best interests, including the child’s wishes, and weigh them accordingly.

In most cases, children love both parents and want to be with both of them.  Younger children want their parents around.  As they age, children become more involved in their own lives, friends, school, and activities.  Often their preference has more to do with staying in the same high school and proximity to their friends.

The judge’s job is to weigh all the circumstances before making a ruling on custody.

In all custody cases the judge takes the conditions of the parent’s homes into consideration.  Does each parent have a safe, clean home for the child?  The court will also consider other unrelated people in the home.  If there are teenage step siblings of the opposite sex in the home, they will need separate rooms.  A judge will not look favorably on two unrelated teenagers of the opposite sex sharing a bedroom.  Does the child have rules and boundaries?  If a teen has no rules, no curfew, or no discipline at one parent’s home, that parent is not likely to get custody.

Conversely, the amount of material possessions is not a factor.  The fact that Mom’s house has a pool and Dad’s does not is not a basis for determining custody.  Factors such as having enough room for your child, a safe place to sleep, food, a structured environment are relevant, not the best toys.  Trying to influence your teen with promises of a new iphone, Xbox, or laptop will not sit well with the judge.

If your child is in high school, they only have a few short years left to live with you or your former spouse.  Keep in mind, your divorce or modification is stressful for them too.  Teenagers are more savvy than young children.  They know more than you think.  As you discuss with the other parent what the custody arrangements may be, consider your child’s life outside your home as well as in.  Consider not just what you want with your child, but what he or she needs as they grow into young adults.

The family law attorneys at Gump & Faiella firmly can assist you with your child custody case. Our experienced family law attorneys serve the following Central Missouri locations all cities in Randolph County, Macon County, Chariton County, Monroe County, Howard County and Boone County.  We have office in Moberly, Missouri and Columbia, Missouri to meet with you by appointment concerning your family law case.

Call our office today at to speak with one of our knowledgeable family law attorneys at  660-263-3100  or  573-397-4710  or fill out our  case evaluation form  to schedule a consultation about your legal rights.

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