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Child Custody Seven Tips for Success

Child Custody in Divorce

If you are considering divorce or separation and you have children, you and your spouse will likely have some sort of disagreement regarding custody of your children.  Even for the couples who believe they have “it all worked out”, once confronted with the details and unforeseen circumstances, disputes arise.  Frequently, because emotions are high, parents don’t always act in ways that benefit them or their children before and during legal proceedings.

Seven Tips for Success

While the following list is not exhaustive, here are seven things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t bring your child or children in it. Your children may be the subject of the dispute, but they should not be involved.  Don’t talk about your case in front of your kids.  Don’t speak badly about the other parent in front of the kids.  They love you both and don’t want to take sides.
  2. Don’t put your custody dispute on social media. No good comes from posting derogatory things about the other parent on the internet.  In fact, it can be used against you.  One of the factors judges consider when determining custody is “which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent.”  If you are posting statements or pictures of the other parent which casts them in a bad light, it can certainly look like you are trying to prevent them from getting custody.
  3. Don’t put your personal life on social media. If you post it, opposing counsel will find it and can use it.  While your case is pending, go on a Facebook vacation.
  4. Don’t get ugly. Maintain a civil discourse.  It is tempting to vent your frustrations with the other parent in a long text exchange.  Resist the temptation.  One of the first things I tell new clients is to screenshot messages, texts and Snachat exchanges.  Keep it short and civil.  Don’t text anything you wouldn’t want the judge to read.
  5. Don’t let your child’s life get turned upside down. Do you best to keep your child’s life as normal as possible.  There is going to be some turmoil.  If you can keep their school, sports, music lessons, contact with friends, etc. consistent, you will not only help your child, you will help your case.
  6. Don’t give the other parent the silent treatment regarding the kids. Keep the other parent informed.  Even if you didn’t communicate well during your marriage or relationship, you will have to now – at least about the children.  A custody order will probably include language about informing the other parent about your child.  Start now.  Things that happen during your custodial time can affect theirs:  She turned her ankle during soccer practice and it needs ice; he failed a math test and lost Xbox privileges.  Again, it will help your kids and your case.
  7. Finally, keep records of these things. Your lawyer will want to see your good communication skills.

The family law attorneys at Gump & Faiella firmly can assist you with your family law case. Our experienced family law attorneys serve all cities in Randolph County, Macon County, Chariton County, Monroe County, Howard County and Boone County.  Call our office today at to speak with one of our knowledgeable family law attorneys at 660-263-3100 or 573-397-4710  or fill out our case evaluation form to schedule a consultation about your legal rights.

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